Mixed Emotions

Is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time? That seems like too much of a contradiction; but yes, it’s possible. I was reminded of that recently when I received news that a dear friend had passed away. It brought sadness to my heart and tears to my eyes. But the sadness of knowing I can’t see her again here on earth is outweighed by the joy of knowing I will see her again someday in glory. And knowing she has been set free from the difficulties she has experienced in the last few years makes me happy.

My husband and I have had many opportunities to serve the Lord in places all over this country, and even internationally. Getting to know people in all of those locations has given us great joy, and leaving them to move on to a new place brings sadness. When I expressed that to a woman one  time, she said, “Then why do you do it?” She didn’t understand because she had lived in Rhode Island all of her life and was very content to stay right there. I can’t really explain why we have moved so often except to say that we believed that God was opening doors and nudging us to move on to a new ministry.

Sometimes I have thought that our resume might look a little suspicious to some critics. They might wonder if we had done something wrong or were just a little too restless to be trusted. But then I think of the apostle Paul and what his resume would look like. He sure moved around a lot. But look at how effective his ministry was and how many different people he touched with his teaching and example. I’m sure he had mixed emotions often because of missing the people he had come to love.

Here’s a classic example from Paul’s letter to the Philippians. “I thank God for you Christians at Philippi whenever I think of you. My constant prayers for you are a real joy, for they bring back to my mind how we have worked together for the Gospel from the earliest days until now. I feel sure that the one who has begun his good work in you will go on developing it until the day of Jesus Christ. It is only natural that I should feel like this about you all—you are very dear to me. For during the time I was in prison as well as when I was out defending and demonstrating the power of the Gospel we shared together the grace of God. God knows how much I long, with the deepest Christian love and affection, for your companionship” (Philippians 1:3-8, J. B. Phillips).

Perhaps this quote demonstrates the emotional struggle within him most of all. “Living to me means simply ‘Christ’, and if I die I should merely gain more of him. I realize, of course, that the work which I have started may make it necessary for me to go on living in this world, I should find it very hard to make a choice. I am torn in two directions—on the one hand I long to leave this world and live with Christ, and that is obviously the best thing for me. Yet, on the other hand, it is probably more necessary for you that I should stay here on earth. That is why I feel pretty well convinced that I shall not leave this world yet, but shall be able to stand by you, to help you forward in Christian living and to find increasing joy in your faith” (Philippians 1:21-25, J. B. Phillips).

When a loved one transitions to Heaven we always feel mixed emotions, don’t we? And what about thinking of moving there ourselves? It’s hard to leave those we love, but are we too attached to this earth to yearn for the joy of being with our Lord?